'But we are not what the other one needs.'

-eat pray love

I'm so sad.

I'm so lonely.

I don't even know how to snap out of this.

LIFE LESSONS FROM THE MOVIE EAT PRAY LOVE

Eat

Eat foods that nourish your body, satisfy your palette, and build relationships. The author's first destination took her to Italy, where the art of food is celebrated and cherished. Forgetting about calories, food labels, and all those little "shoulds and should nots" blaring on every health and fitness magazine in America, she embraced every bite with love and enthusiasm.

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Learn to Live On

What is the most popular element between boxing, wrestling and karate? At the end of the game, they leave players suffering with some extreme pain. The body pain can heal fast, but the mental pain due to the prospect of losing and disappointing themselves as well as their supporters still lasts. Similarly, when you give up your love, you also suffer pain. You stop eating, you stop being a part of gatherings, and you stop smiling…But did you ever see the players that run ways from the fears or feeling pain? Yes. This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel anything at all. Instead, the loss gives us a new driving force to make them harder and achieve more in the future. So, Learn to live on. In almost every scene she is seen eating full-course meals with her new-found friends, engaging in heart-felt conversation, and enjoying every bite. No eating in front of the television, in the car, on the go, or pulling out of fast food joints. And the one time we see her eating alone, she prepares her food with love and intention. While sitting on the floor she eats her beautifully prepared meal with her full attention wearing her newly purchased lingerie. Eating was no longer just for health, nutrients, or even to suppress unresolved emotions. No, eating became a part of life, something that added value to her day, something that she could look forward to as an extension of who she wanted to be.

So how can we eat with more passion and substance without taking a trip to a foreign country? First of all, change your perspective about food.

Instead of looking at food only for as a source of health and necessity, make meal time a celebration and daily ritual. As often as you can, prepare meals at home, set the table with favorite plates, tablecloths, and utensils, and make dining a family affair. Make it a rule that everyone must sit at the table for a set amount of time, even if they finish before everyone else. Don't allow meal time to be just another daily task, but a time to reconnect with family. If you live alone, frequently invite friends over to break bread together. You can cook healthy foods that are satisfying and good for you too. Browse through cookbooks and online to find healthy versions of your favorite meals and at least several times a week, go all out. Not only will your food be healthier for you, you'll enjoy eating more, while satisfying our cravings for human connection and intimacy, something so many of us are missing today.

Pray

Spend time with God in prayer and meditation. The author's second destination took her to India, where she would learn the art of meditation to conquer her fears and quiet her restless mind. Initially she failed in her quest to be still and stop thinking. Thoughts about her past mistakes and even her present circumstances plagued her mind constantly. She was in the Mecca of the meditation world and couldn't find inner peace. Just as it eluded her, it eludes many of us today. Fortunately, with the encouragement of others and the constant practice, meditation became a part of her daily life that helped to keep her balanced and centered. As a Christian, you may shy away from practices like meditation; however, meditation is clearly supported by scripture and Jesus himself. We are told in the Bible that it was Jesus daily custom to find a solitary place and spend time with God. And before Jesus started his public ministry, he spent 40 days and nights in the wilderness with God. Joshua 1:8 tells us to meditate on God day and night if we want success in life.

Yet meditation has gotten a bad rap. Of course, there are types of meditation that Christians want to avoid. However, meditation is just another tool that can help us grow in our relationship with God. By learning to quiet our mind we create an environment to "Be still and know God" in a more intimate way. By meditating on the word of God, we allow His word to inwardly transform us. By meditating on God's presence, we learn to abide with God and learn to worship Him in Spirit and in truth. So how does prayer differ from meditation? I have often heard that prayer is talking to God, but meditation is giving God an opportunity to speak to us. Many Christians know how to pray very well, but few know how to listen and hear the still small voice of their Heavenly Father.

Although the author learned how to meditate by studying under the spiritual gurus of India, we can learn to meditate on God anytime and anywhere and get the same results. There are also many forms of meditation that are suitable for Christians from purchasing a guided Christian meditation CD, meditating on God's word, dwelling in God's presence, or even practicing centering prayer. You can explore many types of Christian meditation that will enhance your life and relationship with God. Making prayer and meditation a part of your daily life is all you need to add more meaning to your life and daily experiences.

Love

Love God with all your heart, soul, and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. The third destination of the author was the beautiful island of Bali. I don't suspect that when she arrived there she knew that love was right around the corner. In fact, it ran her off the road. Her soon to be beloved knocked her off her bike as she rode through the countryside. However, because of a failed marriage, her fear of losing herself, or making another mistake, she almost let love sip through her fingers. It was the medicine man she visited frequently who told her that "love" is a part of a balanced life. Up until this point I think she believed that she didn't deserved love, she wasn't good at love, or that true love didn't really exist.

I know that many single women and men would love to go to an exotic island and meet the man or woman of our dreams. Yet there is a part of me that believes it is difficult to love another person without first loving God and loving yourself. As a result of loving God we learn valuable lessons about love. Corinthians chapter 13 tells us that love is patient, love is kind, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, and it always hopes for the best. In fact, true love can never fail; however, we fail when we refuse to operate out of a spirit of love.

You have heard that you can't give away something that you don't have. Love is no different. When we learn to love ourselves that love flows out to all who surround us, male, female, young, or old. In fact, the scripture tells us that in order to love our neighbor we must first love ourselves. We love ourselves when we take the time to examine our hurts and shortcomings and then offer them God for internal healing and wholeness. We love ourselves when we learn who we are in Christ and set loving boundaries that protect us from the harmful intentions of others. We love ourselves by taking the time to nurture our inner spirit, physical health, and emotional well-being, and when we are true to our own needs and desires with the courage to integrate them into our presence situation. Of course, this will always be an ongoing process, but the healthier we are mentally and spiritually, the more successful we will be in attracting and maintaining loving relationship that will flourish and grow.

As you learn to be patience, kind, tolerant, and trusting of yourself and your needs, you are learning the traits that will cultivate a strong love relationship. The author truly loved herself when she took this long-expedition to heal her life and find her place in the world. We can do the same right from your own home.

Ask God to bring to your attention any areas where you are being unloving to yourself or others and then ask Him to help you heal in these areas. Don't give up on love. Whether you are already married or praying for God to bless you with a mate, keep love flowing in your life and relationships. Following these steps will help you to incorporate the lessons of Eat, Pray, and Love in your life starting today.

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE: Yellow Lyrics - Coldplay

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do

'Cause you were all yellow
I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know, for you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry

I's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

LIVE FOR YOURSELF, LIVE FOR OTHERS

Work for the love it, and not for the money. A lot of people are unsatisfied with their jobs precisely because they only do them for the sake of their paycheck. While earning money is important, your happiness is, too. Keep looking for a job that fits you and learn to love it—not only will it make going to work easier, it will give you a sense of self-fulfillment, as well.

More importantly, never give up opportunities to help others, be it through your job or personal capacity. “Now it's no longer about earning a regular paycheck... I want, at the end of my life, I'll be able to say na, well, you did a lot for others in your very short time on this earth. It's so much easier to do good things for other people, than to be selfish.”


LEARN TO POKE FUN AT YOURSELF

So the next time someone throws you an insult, keep your cool and don’t fight back—why agitate yourself further when you can do something more fun? As they say, “Ang pikon, talo,” so, instead of taking others’ harsh words to heart, learn to laugh at yourself. It’s good for your emotional and physical health—laughing releases serotonin and endorphins, which lower anxiety levels and improve the immune system.


ONLY LISTEN TO THOSE WHO MATTER TO YOU

Are you getting upset because of a nasty comment you overheard a colleague saying about your work? Don’t sweat it. Why get distressed over a disparaging remark from someone who’s a virtual stranger? “Sumasama ang loob ko, pero hindi ko sila pinapansin. Hindi naman sila importante, e.”

Think about whose opinions matter to you, keep them close to you, and disregard the others. It’s one thing to receive harsh criticism from someone you don’t know personally, and another to hear it from someone who cares about you. If it’s the latter, then reevaluate and decide whether there’s truth to your loved one’s statement and go from there.


BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE

What ever your shape or size, be proud of it. Accepting yourself for who you are is the first step in being confident around others, and the more comfortable you are in your own skin, the easier it will be for you to do so. This doesn’t mean that you can’t change anything about yourself—change is constant and unavoidable in life, after all. If you commit to it, though, do it because you want to, and not because others told you to.

The Biggest Loser instead of, say, getting a waif-thin model to host. "Ang ganda-ganda mo nga, pero araw-araw, aburido ka. Maganda na yung kumakain tayo ng masarap. Ibig sabihin, masarap yung pagkain natin sa bahay."


THINK POSITIVE

Everyone has problems and everyone has a right to complain, but not every problem is as big as you might think it is. Keep your stress levels down by not sweating the small stuff. Instead of focusing on the downside, look for the positives. Try making a list of things that you feel thankful about—you’ll find that the list may be longer than you thought it would be! Having a positive outlook in life will help you go through the bad times more easily. “Kahit bali-baligtarin nila ang mundo—masarap ang buhay ko, e. Magrereklamo pa ba 'ko?”


Emotions can spread like a contagion. That is why there is noticeable difference in the atmospheres of the places that we go to–our home, the office, the park, our children’s preschool, the hospital and so on. It is not only our experiences in these places that dictate the air, it is also the emotional state of the people we come into contact with whenever we visit them.

PhysOrg.com recently published the findings from a study performed by Harvard and MIT researchers on the spread of happiness (or sadness) in a similar pattern as spreading communicable diseases. Using the data collected from the Framingham Heart Study and slightly modifying a mathematical model developed to observe the spread of contagious diseases, the researchers found, in simple terms, that you can catch happiness or sadness like the flu.

As much as we can catch these emotions, we can also spread them. In this stressful, fast-paced society, nobody wants to be around what we call a BV (bad vibes). Below are ten simple ways you can do to spread the right kind of vibe in the air and have everyone you bump into just love being around you.


SMILE

It is one of the easiest things you can do to ease a person’s mood. So, smile when you answer the phone, put a smiley on your notes, and add an emoticon to your text and instant messages. It really makes all the difference! Smiling is free and, as a bonus, it releases endorphins

COMPLIMENT

Everyone loves hearing nice things about themselves. And surely you don't have to stretch your imagination too far to come up with even just one or two nice things to appreciate about a person. Give a good compliment about your spouse, your child, your co-worker or any random person–and mean it!

PERFORM RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

An act of kindness does not only mean grand charity balls or flying to Pakistan to help flood victims ala Angelina Jolie. We are given plenty of opportunities every day to show kindness to one another, like hitting the brakes to let people cross the street, holding the door open for someone, and letting the shopper with very few items in queue to go ahead of you.

REPAY RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS

In line with the previous item, be sure to repay random acts of kindness. The beauty of paying it forward is that you are not obliged to give it to the actual person who performed the act of kindness towards you, allowing us to pass on multitudes of good deeds! Still, paying it backward as well never hurt anyone!

MOTIVATE

As much as we would love to help, sometimes timing and resources just do not give us the liberty to. In cases like this, all we can do is motivate by giving encouraging words and becoming a solid support system.

LISTEN

We all have something to vent out about. But when a friend runs to you to clear her chest, give her the floor and listen intently instead of waiting for your turn to speak.


ACKNOWLEDGE

Oftentimes, we tend to ignore the companions of the friends we bump into, perhaps at the mall, at a restaurant, etc. This is most true when their companions are children, elderly, or handicapped. Acknowledge their presence. It will make them feel good about themselves.


TREAT GENEROUSLY

Whether it is a cup of coffee or a meal for lunch–freebies never fail to lighten up one’s day! It may even be a small gesture like giving each of your officemates a small candy to sweeten up a dreary Monday morning. Contrary to what many may think, generosity isn't measured by how much money you're willing to dole out, but how often and how much you're willing to share what you can with others.

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN

Forget about out-of-town trips and going to the mall. Quality time with your children does not have to take place outside of the house. Engage in family activities, such as playing board games or doing something creative. Sometimes, we get too consumed by our work that we forget who we are doing it for.


MOMS, HUG OR CALL YOUR DAUGHTERS

No matter how old a woman is, she will always need a dose of mommy love from time to time. Moms are the ultimate fairy godmothers. Sure, they can't make all our wishes come true, but their touch and the sound of their voices can help reduce the stress that our troubles bring.




STRESS AWAY

EXERCISE

You may think exercise is just another source of anxiety, but this actually makes you better equipped to deal with a stressful day. If going to the gym or busting out aerobic moves isn’t your thing, don’t despair. Just find something that you’ll enjoy and keep at it. Apart from being a form of exercise, it serves a creative outlet for me express whatever I’m feeling that day without the distraction of work and other tasks—it’s how I really ‘let my hair down,’ so to speak.”


GET A HOBBY

The more your life starts to revolve around just work, the more stressed you become. Inject some fun back into your life by taking up a hobby. Use this time to completely forget about your work problems, and focus on enjoying life and keeping yourself happy. “Whether it’s a sport, reading books, or watching films that you enjoy the most, do it on a regular basis. Being able to do something you like nurtures your mind, body and soul—to put it simply, it makes you feel good. And you need that positivity to get through long, tiring days.”


TAKE A BREAK

“If you don’t take regular breaks, you’ll work yourself to death, and your health and overall well-being will suffer for it.” So the next time you feel a migraine coming on because of work, think of your health and turn your laptop off even if it’s just for fifteen minutes. “We all have moments when stress seems to be getting the best of us,” “But we can choose not to let it by taking a break and doing the things that make us smile and help us unwind.”


FIND BALANCE

The key to a non-stressful life is balance and contentment, So stop overworking and think about your personal life too! Make time for going out with friends—surround yourself with the people you care about. “People generally feel stressed or burned out because they are constantly dissatisfied or running after something,” “It’s good to have goals that you can work towards, but it’s also important to find the balance between being in pursuit of these and still being glad with what you already have. It keeps you grounded and your outlook positive, so that you can set about achieving those goals in high spirits.”


THINK POSITIVE

Sometimes stress can get the better of you, but even the simplest things can go a long way to improve your mood. So go indulge the a pair of new jeans you've had your eye on or watch the sun set after a particularly depressing day at work. The trick to effective de-stressing is to always give yourself something to look forward to. Reward yourself for a job well done with a long soak in the tub or finishing a tub of your favorite ice cream. You deserve it!