THE HARDEST DAY

One more day, one last lookBefore I leave it
all behindAnd play the role that's meant for us
That said we'd say goodbye

~little frustrations.
a scar, the old scar that seemed much as part of him as his mouth. fell hard for it.his imperfection.so beautiful.
~thinking of all the things we never had the chance to do together- cook a meal, go to the theater, read the sunday paper. Why this overwhealming desire to share the dull agenda of daily life.
it was nothing. I told myself. years had passed, and all of life was different now.
~DENIAL WAS SOMETIMES ESSENTIAL FOR LOVE~

One more night (one more night)
by your side (by your side)Where our dreams collide
And all we have is everything
And there's no pain there's no hurt
There's no wrong it's all right
If I promise to believe will you believe
That there's nowhere that we'd rather be
Nowhere describes where we areI?
ve no choice, I love youLeave,
love you wave goodbye

~ I love you beyond anything I thought possible.
It makes me sad for HIM, for what he never had from me.

~ I never stopped loving you. The pure pain of time lost was a star exploding.
Our love . Id come to think of it like childhood, Something I once had that I should'nt expect to have again.

And all I ever wanted was to stay (all I ever wanted was to stay)
Never wanna wake up from this night
Never (never) wanna leave this moment
Waiting for you only, only you
Never gonna forget every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
Leaving you, the hardest day of my life
The hardest day of my life

~ The loss, the physical pain of loss,
was devastating and utterly complete: And oddly comforting like a truly sad thought

I still breathe (I still breathe),
I still eat (I still eat)
And the sun it shines the same as it did yesterday
But there's no warmth, no lightI feel empty inside
But I never will regret a single day
I know it isn't going to go away
What I'm feeling (I'm feeling) for youI will always love youLeave,
love you wave goodbye (love you wave goodbye)

~ I hate ambiguity. Give me all or nothing.
I can take nothing as long as it really is nothing, undilluted by HOPE or YES but maybe IF...

~here's to that MOMENT that might never come. ever.

xx, SEF