UGGGGHHHH COLDS!!!!!!!

~ I'm sick. sick. sick. colds. colds.colds. tired. tired. tired. so unhappy. unhappy.

I've also been thinking if I should txt u or not. hmmmm. confused now.
I dreamt about you. us. I'm so bothered about it. We we're so happy. so together. so in love.
Maybe I shouldn't be thinking about it, after all it was only a crazy dream but what if?.
We talked about this. ugggghhhhhh. crazy. crazy. crazy.
I officially hate ME now.
We can't be together. It's just not possible. Things are different now. You're there. I'm here.
v. unhappy. v. sad. v. much miss you.
panic stricken now. I can't do this to Euan. My attention can't be divided. v. bad indeed.

I’m having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy
Nooo
How did we reverse the chemistry?
I don’t want us to be the end of me
This love is taking all of my energy
Energy, my energy
Taking all of my energy
Energy, my energy
Taking all of (my energy)

So mushy. UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH.
love to just fade away. just don't like to be reminded of our disaster. Hey, I meant it when I told you goodbye. Okay half meant it. Everything seemed tragic. v. bad. v. bad.
tssk. tsssk. tssssk.
Wonder what the hell that make me hold it together.
Oh well life is hard work. It's hard to play tough every minute of everyday. But I have to Euan is like saying I'm counting on you Mom.! v. much in love with Euan. Can't let him down.
The truth is always, always v. painful. I'm losing my mind. In a bit now.
infinite sadness. restless things.
have to get back to work. 24 tickets to go.




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