I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE

'I felt something catch in my throat, a sudden surge of sadness that caught me unaware. it almost managed to take my breath away . that was the thing; you never got used to it. you never got used to the idea of someone being gone . just when you think it's okay, and you think you've accepted it, someone points it out to you, and it hits you all over again, and it's just as shocking as the first time.'

~NEW YEAR. NEW BEGINNINGS. NEW CHALLENGES. NEW HOPES. NEW HEARTACHES.HAYS I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DWELL IN THIS STATE OF UN-HAPPINESS BECAUSE IF I DO~PATAY NA. I'M SO SWAMP WITH SO MANY STUFFS TO DO AND TO TAKE CARE OFF THAT I HAVE TO SET ASIDE WHATEVER I'M FEELING. REALLY I'M TIRED THOUGH I FEEL SO BLESSED BEYOND WHAT I DESERVE. GOD IS JUST SO GOOD TO ME AND TO MY FAMILY. MY MOTHER AND YOUNGEST SISTER IS GIVING ME HEARTACHE MORE THAN I CAN ACTUALLY BEAR. BUT I'M TRYING TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY I'M GETTING USED TO DOING THAT TO BLOCK THE PAIN. ARNEL WAS SHOCKED ABOUT THE SITTUATION HE WAS TELLING ME NA SANA MAAYOS LALO NA IT'S XMAS SEASON. i TOLD HIM THAT WE'RE OKAY AND THAT HE DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A THING. I GUESS HE KNOWS ME WELL. HE KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT YUN FAMILY KO SA AKIN. BUT SABI NGA NI OPRAH 'YOU CAN HAVE EVERYTHING BUT NOT AT THE SAME TIME.' REALLY, I'M TRYING TO LAUGHT AT IT AND CONVINCE MYSELF NA IT'S FOR THE BETTER HAYS LONG STORY. REALLY, MAYBE I'M THINKING TOO MUCH HAYS DAMI PUMAPASOK SA ISIP KO. I'M ALSO THINKING NA BKA MATULAD AKO KAY PLONING HEHE. TUMANDA SA KAHAHANTAY SA TAONG MAHAL NYA. HEHE. OH WELL. HAY THANK GOD FOR EUAN AND THANK GOD FOR TWILIGHT!
cigarette: 2
Alcohol units: 0
calories: n/a
Weight: n/a



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